Why is it that some people appear to have it together while most of us struggle with worry and uncertainty?

It’s not “hard work” as most people think because some people work as hard, have the same drive, have good tutors, but they still don’t succeed.

If you aren’t achieving, the first person you should always look to first is yourself.Here are a few tips that can help.


Integrity is one of the most misunderstood and misused words. Most people mistake integrity with honesty, but integrity is more than that.

Integrity is telling my-self the truth, honesty is telling the truth to other people.

It simply means what you say and what you do match.

Integrity requires an inner sense of ‘wholeness’ and consistency of character.

When you are ‘whole’ and consistent, there is only one you. You bring that same you wherever you are, regardless of the circumstance. You don’t leave parts of yourself behind.

In other words you don’t have a ‘work you,’ a ‘family you,’ and a ‘social you.’ You are authentic YOU all the time.

Because you are being authentic you, others trust you.

The opportunities that come from life of integrity are tremendous. Many people who have it together have integrity.

Real integrity is doing the right thing knowing nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not Oprah Winfrey.

2. Honor Where You Are Right Now

Where you are right now is always connected to where you are going. What’s next in your life is connected to what’s now in your life.

What you are doing now and most importantly how you are doing is the biggest indicator on what’s coming next.

The amount of honor you give to your current responsibilities are directly related to the amount of favor that will be given to you.

If for example you are in a job you are not so passionate about because it helps finance your dream of starting a side gig, do it well, give it your 150%. Do it to the best of your ability and honor where you are 100% because what you give out is what will come back to you.

With integrity, this comes natural.This will set you apart from others.

3. Honor Your Mentors

Get the most out of where you are right now by working with mentors.Work with tutors or anyone who has done it well before you.

The cheapest ways to learn is to learn from someone else and learn through their mistakes

The most successful people in the world attribute their success to their mentors

Audrey Hepburn was a mentor to Elizabeth Taylor; Christian Dior was a mentor to Yves Saint Laurent.

Of course we are not going to get these big names as our mentors but you get the idea.

Oprah said this to Barbara Walters “had there not been you there would never have been me”

Find good mentors in your field and learn from them.The people who appear to have it together understand this, they go out there and learn from those who have achieved what they want to achieve and do it 100 times better.


4. Honor Yourself First

Every day spend time in silence in meditation or prayer to quieten your thoughts, wake up early and spend time with yourself or in nature and journal your thoughts.

Set out your intentions for the day, this is not a to do list! But intentions on how you want your day/week to unfold!

Don’t just rush out the door each morning hoping for the best; spend some time each morning to set your intentions for the day.

We are co-creators of our lives,nothing will happen if we just sit and watch what happens.Setting up intentions everyday and trying to be present help us the create the life of our desires.

Self-care, self-love, compassion and forgiveness all come into play here too. It’s about being shameless about who we are. It’s about loving ourselves without judgement, guilt, shame and complete acceptance of who we are. It’s only when we honor and accept ourselves we can change our lives and go after our dreams with no fear.

5.You Get What You Give… You Get What You Give… You Get What You Give…

Ask yourself what are you currently receiving? If you aren’t achieving, the first person you should always look to first is yourself.

Take a look at your thoughts and really evaluate them, what do you see? Are your thoughts filled with negativity? Fear? Worry? Anger? If this is the case, chances are these thoughts are now manifesting into the physical. You would probably be struggling in your life or in your relationships, finances, health, career, business etc.

Chances are you are unhappy, filled with a lot of uncertainty. The point is, if our minds are filled with any of the negative emotions these emotions will reflect back into our lives. Whatever vibe you give others it’s what will come back to you. Whatever thoughts occupying your brain the most eventually will reflect back into your life.

Get rid of negative thoughts in your head; of fear, worry, anger and anxiety then start giving what you want to receive to others.

Instead of focusing in what is going wrong in your life replace thoughts of lack and worry with giving. Give value to others and value will come back to you. Give love, a smile, money, tips anything you wish to have in your own life and this will come back to you.

This applies in business, at home, in work; in our relationships everywhere…as humans we were designed to give in order to receive not the other way round!

Integrity is an underrated quality,Its not just about being honest, it goes beyond that.Its about being authentic you. It goes without saying that its what will set you apart from the rest.

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Best Wishes,
SFM Elite & Platinum Member of the SFM/DEA